If you read this article, perhaps, you’re in love. And you’re probably engaged. But are you really ready for this union? There are many things to consider before marriage, but lots of couples are blind with strong feelings to notice that. If a happy marriage is your plan, keep reading the article to learn what you should be prepared for.
What to know before getting married
Here are 5 things to know before you tie the knot.
- It’s not going to be perfect all the time. Moreover, “perfect” is very subjective and even unrealistic. It’s highly likely you’re going to feel happy most of the time with positive emotions prevailing in your marriage. There are usually more ups, but be ready for downs as well. They’re inevitable and usually test a couple. If you want to pass the exam, be ready for difficulties and don’t look at everything through rose-colored spectacles.
- Your partner won’t change. Of course, people do change. But we never know what way and how soon. One of the most important things to consider before getting married is whether you’re ready to accept your future spouse totally. For example, if your boyfriend says he doesn’t want kids, you shouldn’t expect him to change his mind because there are chances he never will.
- Sex compatibility plays a huge role. This topic isn’t taboo anymore in the majority of Western countries. Intimacy is a part of marriage, and you shouldn’t be shy to discuss it with your partner before getting married. Sex incompatibility may lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, which is no good for your union.
- Dating and marriage are different. Some couples live together long before they wed. And they claim nothing changes after all paperwork is done. However, it’s rather an exception to the rule. In fact, you’re going to have more responsibilities and be even more committed. You’ll have certain obligations as well. Marriage is much more serious, don’t neglect the importance of maintaining it.
- Financial independence is important. They say you can’t buy happiness. But you can buy things that make you happy. To say nothing of basic things. Who’s going to pay for community facilities, food, or a new washing machine if the old one breaks? It’s always better to marry only after you have a solid grasp on your own finances.
What to consider before getting married
There are several questions to ask yourself before getting married.
- Can we live together amicably? It’s a common practice today to live together for at least a few months to see whether you’re compatible roommates. Finding out about your partner being messy (while you’re being a neat freak) after the wedding may hit like a ton of bricks. Or what if your pet preferences aren’t really alike?
- Do we want kids? This is huge and probably, the most crucial. While you might accept the fact your beloved spouse is messy or doesn’t cook that well, it’s difficult to come to terms with not having or having children in your life. And here’s a kind reminder: don’t be naive to believe partners will change their minds. You never know, they might never do.
- How well do we handle disagreements? One of the things to know about marriage—you’re going to have arguments. Period. And this is totally normal. What is not normal is going to extremes—regularly make scandals and hype up when it’s baseless, or avoid conflicts and never discuss what’s bothering you. What style do you prefer? A happy medium is always the best option—learn how to resolve disagreements and compromise.
- Can we have fun together? You may have a different sense of humor, interests, and hobbies, but it shouldn’t stop you from spending time together and having fun. You should be sure you’re on the same page. It’s not a rare occasion when after marriage one of the partners wants to stay at home and watch TV while another one wants to go out more. If this is what makes you feel sad and uncomfortable, make sure it won’t cause big trouble after you take vows.
- Can we have fun apart? Another common reason for many fights within a couple—they rely on each other too much. You and your partner are two separate persons, and it’s okay not to be together 24/7. If one of you isn’t okay with another spending time separately from time to time, this, as well, may lead to fights.
There are many things to consider before marriage. But don’t let them lead you astray. It’s okay to have different opinions on the same subjects. And it’s fine not to be compatible with everything. It’s just better to be aware of your differences and discuss them beforehand.